Posted by
DougfromEagan on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 7:35:29 PM
Read original at Pioneer PressSaturday night July 22nd Downtown Minneapolis.
Its been a tough year for the cops of Minneapolis. This being a year of increased murder in the Mini-apple. Rising crime rates complicated by rising temperatures make this July an ever dangerous one for the men and women behind the shield. But this night was like no ordinary hot summer night. This night shall be know as --
The Night of the TERRORIST ZOMBIES!!! This blood thirsty menace to society has plagued us before but, thank God for the men and women in blue throwing their very lives in front of the brain hungry mob!
Six! count them, six -- blood thirsty, moaning, staggering, collection of half rotted corpses, traveling from bar to bar in search of quenching their unholy thirst! But wait ! Still more horror was noticed , they were wearing backpacks with ungodly homemade stereos!!
WHAT HORROR!! Yes the "protruding wires" that
only dead zombie alkida operatives from hell could have conceived - worse than a guy from RadioShack!!
The six undead, unholly unwashed but
technically savvy, Terrorist Zombies were arrested for a Minnesota statute making it a felony to
"simulate weapons of mass destruction", and put in the hell they deserve (without beer!).
The most terrifying thing about this true story is, my car technically qualifies as
simulating a weapon of mass destruction.
I tried to get hold of Minneapolis police but this was all I could get.
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